it is out in the open

When I fist thought this is what I wanted to do I really didn’t know how to go about it. Big vow made- great job but what happens next? Would I walk alone or would I walk with someone- if it was someone who would agree to spending ten days on the road with me – besides my immediate family ( of which Sarita of course couldn’t’ walk so much due to her heart condition) how would the logistics be managed ? Who would form the support team? Would someone ever agree to be support team?

Most people would have thought of these things before deciding what to do but that is not the true blue kulkarni style- As per our system first we make these grand gestures then run all over town harassed and harried wondering how to go about fulfilling them- and at the end of it we also complain how we are always under pressure. This style is the greatest kulkarni strength as well as weakness. All that we own all that we have achieved has been a result of this recklessness – this “Fxxx the thought lets just go and do it” has been a regular in our family – so had I told my wife or kids first about this resolve it would not have surprised them- but they wouldn’t have liked it and would have shot it down with a mixture of argument , emotional blackmail and plain wearing me out by tantrums – (besides me the three others in my immediate family are females – which explains it) Besides I wanted to be sure myself about what I was letting myself in for. Needed a reaction which would be like mine and so I took the idea to another Kulkarni- my friend Mangesh .

To say he is my bestest friend will sound teenagerish but outside my wife he is the best friend I have. He is the exact opposite of what I am. As grounded as I am outrageously flamboyant, as calm as I am hyper , and as rock solid reliable as I am fickle. He is probably one of the few persons towards whom I would always be totally loyal come what may. And the pers0n who I thought would shoot it down calmly with “nahee neelesh mushkil hai- don’t try such stuff” but when while returning from yoga one morning almost 6 months ago I told him this he just stood silently for some time and said “ but it will have to be after divalee- because I will not be able to take off before that” and I was not even asking him for support in terms of going with me- just tossing an idea around and he just stood there and calculated that if I was going I would need support and he would have to go too. And with that one statement he set the ball rolling –

We broke it to our families a month thereafter – we had gone to the temple- to offer thanks for Sarita’s recovery and as was usual as soon as we exited there was a round of – what did u leave at the temple this time ?? and we kind of looked at each other and said – “this time we have left nothing- only sworn that our next visit to the temple will be on foot “ We had chosen the venue craftily and well- all of us are devotees so all of us would know that once sworn here the vow would have to fulfilled come what may- andddddd we were met with a stone wall of silence. It was a kind of betrayal actually- telling the wives and kids after we had apparently met and planned it and then springing it on them when we knew they would never be able to say no to it. But there was no other way – if we wanted to do it this was the only way it could have been done.

Sarita was quiet, almost sullen and Swati came out strong as usual offering various arguments about how this was not the right thing to do or how we could do this symbolically- but none tried to dissuade us from doing it. But after we came back I found her walking every evening – by the time I realized she was committed she was already up to 6 kms per day.

We told Aakanksha my younger daughter after we came back and she just gave an usual understated response and got around to thinking of how and when to apply for leave- it was known she was coming too-and all the way or nothing she said. “I don’t agree with you but if you have decide you are going to do it I will stand by you” is the family code and she felt she had no option but to adhere to it

Apoorva my married daughter was as expected the most vociferous in her opposition as we knew she would be – she worries too much-out of love more than anything else and her first reaction was wild anger –“ how can you do this to us Papa? How can you act so irresponsibly? “ and know what -I know she was right-I had acted irresponsibly but in my scheme of things I knew I had no option. Now she continues to argue but is the first to offer suggestion when the discussions on this starts- and yesterday when she said she was proud of me it brought a lump to my throat.. My son in law Rohit very calmly argued against it but in his own way very understatedly “agreed to disagree” and yet support in whatever ways he could. Would not have expected anything else of him.


I still do not know what Sarita felt when she heard this- I had actually let her down quite badly – but I felt it was justified by the fact that i had sworn to do it out of love for her. And so the die was cast – the major walkathon was sanctioned – and the only thing that remained was to actually start walking .